Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
someone owes me an orgasm
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
