I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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