I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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