Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize