2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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