hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
