you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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