Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
