K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
