Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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