We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
