we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
