I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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