The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
