Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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