There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
