Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Randomize
