is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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