You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
