last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just pee around me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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