So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
