So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
