why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
