I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
ok first of all what the fuck
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
