We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
