Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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