we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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