I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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