I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
