I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
