I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
