my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
