Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
