I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
