yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
