bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
