But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
