Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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