Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
