Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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