physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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