yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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