Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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