dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
