We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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