On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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