when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
