her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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