I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
