His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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