I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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