Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
