Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
