Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she told me i tasted like america
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
