Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
