I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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