and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
