I'm really into asian looking animals
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
