yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
