im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just invented taco cereal.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
