If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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