At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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