haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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