i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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