I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
