i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
