Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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