i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
