just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
