i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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